An article I read on Motherly said that parents only get about 30 minutes a day to unwind. Another article I read mentioned the importance of having me-time. Two contradictions in my world.
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I am truly an exhausted mother wishing she could have some me time – for my sanity for my happiness for a glimpse of who I was.
Warning: If you are looking for an article to tell you – how to do me-time with a one-year-old baby – this is not the article. I’m still trying to figure that myself. If you want an – I’m-not-alone article – then keep on reading, because I’m with you sister!
Manny just turned one, and because I failed at every sleep training method, he still wakes ups numerous times during the night making me extra tired during the day.
In the morning, Manny takes 2 naps; and they are not very long either. During the morning nap I have to choose between some me time to do what I like, such as read a book, write a blog post, take a shower, or clean the kitchen. Often, take a shower wins and there goes the nap time.
In the afternoon, I can choose to eat lunch, pick up the house a bit, do a load of laundry, make the beds or don’t do anything and have some me-time. Lunch always wins.
By the time he goes to bed at night, I still have to cook dinner, clean the kitchen and feed the dogs; all during making multiple stops at the baby’s room and putting him back to sleep (as he sometimes wakes up often – not sure why). By the time 9:30pm hits the clock, I can finally sit down and relax. At that point, my older son wants to cuddle and chat about the day. When that’s over, I’m exhausted and I want to sleep instead of taking an extra 30 minutes to do whatever project I wanted to do during the day.
“Downtime is important. Don’t think of it as self-indulgent… think of it as self-preservation. Giving yourself permission to slow down and relax for a few moments a day, or a few hours each week, will help you gain a fresh outlook and a renewed sense of perspective.” imom.com
Me time is different for every mom
I do cherish time alone. I realized that last night when Manny was asleep and the boys when to the Miami Heat game and I stayed basically alone. It was peaceful, I didn’t have to attend to anyone and I could just do whatever I wanted to do.
“The key to tapping into your ‘me’ time is to be honest about what things make you feel rejuvenated and what drains your energy reserves. For some, getting a manicure is the perfect me time to feel rejuvenated. For me, that’s and energy draining activity so I rather do them myself. “ scarymom.com
I get now those jokes I used to see before becoming a mother where it said the perfect mother’s day gift was a day alone. I get it. I want it. I don’t want to wait until mother’s day though.
I’m hoping me-time will eventually come
I might not have me-time right now I wish I had, part because Manny still depends on me a lot. He doesn’t accept bottles and is still breastfeeding. The demands of such are still very high. He is teething so he just wants to be on me all day and has a bit of separation anxiety when he is feeling down.
Maybe (and that’s my hope) that once he gets out of the breastfeeding phase, daddy can take the boys on Saturday mornings and I can get some me time to relax. In the meantime, I get to daydream about it and sacrifice some days by not taking a shower and taking some me time instead.
And you? How do you manage me time?
Recommended: Infographic: Why me time is important